A different kind of couples therapy

Two weeks ago I was delighted to teach a workshop on Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to the current psychology diploma course students at the Albany Centre in St Albans.

Emotionally Focused Therapy is an evidence-based modality which helps individuals, couples, families and groups understand the cycles which create conflict and dysfunction, and how to repair them and create secure connection. Using EFT we are able to identify the primary and secondary emotions that get activated, and how these often send us into a spiral of disconnection – a very predictable cycle of distress in which one person often Pursues for resolution while the other feels overwhelmed and Withdraws. We de-escalate these cycles of disconnection as we recognise our positions, and are then able to promote a new ‘dance’ of connection and repair, where we can turn towards each other and communicate calmly and effectively.

Many other approaches to couples therapy use strategies and bargaining as relationship tools – eg. “if you do the laundry, I’ll do the dishes”, or “if you do this then I’ll do that” – whereas EFT understands that Emotion is the core agent for change, and focuses on the strength of the couple’s bond.

As we repair our old cycles of escalation, we also heal old attachment wounds and behaviours, and create healthy secure bonds.

If you are an individual, couple, or group who would like to work with me to build better relationships, please get in touch.

-Stefan